Can I stop my hands from getting deformed?

A new very large knot has appeared on my left hand to the left of the small tumor. It’s probably triple the size.

I’m at a loss here. I really don’t want my hands to look like my grandmother’s did.

I take all my meds. I do all the hand exercises. I do everything the doctor tells me to and I’m over here freaking out because despite it, I feel like I’m still suffering permanent damage.

I’ve been dropping things a lot more lately. I picked up a candle at the store yesterday and it slipped right out of my hand and on to the floor. Broke into a thousand pieces. So embarrassing.

I dropped something else the other day at the grocery store that was glass. Does this get worse?

It’s gotten to the point I have a difficult time doing simple things. Opening a coffee mug or the lid of my gas tank.

And the pain. I try not to complain, but it’s getting worse. It’s excruciating at times. Lately it’s this strange burning sensation. Also, pins and needles. And then there’s the skin crawling, shooting pain up my arm and that’s just my left side. My shoulders aren’t much better.

Maybe the CT scan/MRI will tell more and ease my mind. 

I’m just venting. The stress of my health, trying to raise these boys alone and trying to finish school while working full time …

I guess I just sometimes get completely overwhelmed. I can’t tell you how worried I get. I don’t want my hands deformed. I don’t want my future grandbabies afraid of me because of them.

My hands are my livelihood. I’m a writer.

Tomorrow’s a new day. I’m certain of that.

Can anyone else with either RA or Psoriatic Arthritis or Mixed Connective Tissue Disease tell me what I can do to save my hands?

Until next time friends.


About Imkjac

I love my work. I also love the following things: God, my boys, my family, dogs, writing, photography, reading (a bit of a lit geek actually), cooking, being outdoors, hiking, fishing, film, music, Spotify, beards, tattoos, board games, TV (also a TV geek), Netflix, pajamas, blankets, polar bears, art, food. I dislike these things: elevators, heights, unclear water, bridges. Thanks for reading my blog and hoping it brings some comfort and joy to others.
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4 Responses to Can I stop my hands from getting deformed?

  1. dpb27 says:

    So sorry to hear of your struggles with your hand. One thing I am learning is not to worry about what is going to happen because it hasn’t happened yet and it might not ever happen. Just take one day at time and remember God is with you. Praying for you!

    “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18


  2. robertaskey says:

    I am sorry to hear of your condition. I know it is tough having one disorder, let alone six! It’s very brave of you to share a bit of your life on your blog. Keep up the good work!

    My wife of nearly 22 years died from an auto-immune condition called Multiple Sclerosis after suffering from it for almost a quarter of a century.

    There is still no cure for the disease, and not really much in the way of effective treatment but the research through the MS Society continues, and it is important that a cure AND effective treatments for the symptoms are found soon.

    I am walking through the entire west coast of Scotland to raise funds for the MS Society in the UK. Please take the time to share my story and encourage others to participate.

    • Robert,

      I am so sorry for your loss. Good for you … to turn something tragic into a way to help others. God bless you and I wish you the best in your endeavor to raise funds for a worthy cause!

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